Thursday, March 19, 2009

Give me your eyes...



I am not sure if it is that time of the year where the seasons are changing and we are in transition of some sort, or if this is just part of God's plan, but as we transition into warmer weather and new seasons and prepare for the Passion Play and the celebration of Easter I feel like I am being "stretched".

The Passion Play gives me a new perspective on what Jesus did on the cross and most importantly afterward. I am learning about why he did it and how thankful I am he did this for me because of my sin.

This pregnancy is teaching me about thankfulness and trusting in God. We wanted this baby so much, God heard our prayers and answered them I can't wait to meet this little girl. I will tell her for years and years how she was an answer to our prayers. That when there were days we had no hope.... God provided and we were renewed with an awesome sense of hope and love.

Both of our kids are growing up.. Grace is in 1st grade and is at a point where talking with and having conversations with adults is fun for her. Growing up she has been kind of quiet, but I am noticiing that she has a new interest in the relationships around her. My relationships, her friendships people in general. Appreciating them, learning from them, watching them participating. She is learning about her gifts, her talents she is learning to study for things, organization and planning. She is growing up and I am so proud of the little girl she is growing up to be.

Toby is about to enter Kindergarten and with that being said, I am excited for him, but at the same time a little nervous. He has been my "baby" for 5 years and now he too will begin a journey of self discovery and understanding of who he is and what he stands for. My prayer for both of them is that they know that they are supported by BK and I always and that they understand that the God who made the mountains that surround us is always with them, loving them and watching over them. I pray they have that peace.

I am watching my husband take on big "roles" more responsibility, he too is learning about parenting "young kids" and not babies. He is leading this family, in all aspects. understanding the awesome and good responsiblity God gives a father and a husband for his family. God is changing him inside and out. He is healthier than he has ever been in his life, stronger...emotionally and physically.

Sometimes in the midst of these things I am noticing I have questions, I have confusion, I have frustration and doubt. I feel helpless, I am not in control and I would love to know what the future holds. I have a greater awareness of my own inability to control every aspect of my own life... and it is not the most comfortable place. But in this way I am being stretched to see my life as God sees it to see it with new eyes. To be changed... to move into it trusting that God who knows all is in control of it all.

Thanks for these new eyes Lord. Thank you for it all.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Beautiful, Jen, beautiful! Thank you for sharing.