Rough Week

Well, it's been a little rough this week (for lack of a better term). We are not in crisis, we are not crazed. It's just been one of those weeks where can look back and say I made it through. Marriage, Motherhood and full-time Ministry are a fun combination (and by fun I mean insane!) :)

I'll give you a visual. Dishes... most of the necessary dishes are washed and put away. A stack of dirty pans, cookie sheets, pyrex and big bowls sit on my counter untouched. Paperwork is piled up everywhere on the computer desk.... bills, schoolwork,art projects, junk mail all lay waiting to be sorted (and mostly thrown huge pile of laundry awaits to be washed and folded and put away. Seemingly a task that should happen fairly easily but in my world just doesn't make the cut! Kids rooms are overflowing with toys. It's time to put Grace and Josie in one room and Toby in the other. They need their own bedrooms. I'm thinking I'll tackle that this weekend.

My son had a complete meltdown week. He suddenly misses me and does not want me to leave him at school. He says he misses me too much. I got to have a come to work with Mommy day on Monday and the rest of the week has been stressful dropping him off wondering if he will able to adjust and stay. His teacher is wonderful, understanding caring and loving. She and her aide are working to help about 20 little kindergarteners understand the desired behavior needed to learn in a classroom setting. They are working on all kinds of skills with the kids. Commmon to their developmental stages... being in the classroom gave me an amazing respect and love for his teacher. She is kind, compassionate and on a daily basis loves my child enough to help me teach him the skills he will need to grow up into an awesome little educated man. I have to admit, I've had a couple meltdowns because during these episodes with my sweet boy... I am planning a Daddy Daughter Dance for the community. God is teaching me about trusting him, trusting others and giving myself the grace to try and possibly fail at something I totally believe in. It's not fun but I pray the pay off is huge. For every Dad(or father figure) and daughter that buys a ticket I am praying this experience is a memory they will carry with them the rest of their lives. In the midst of all of this, my husband has one of those foggy head colds that rock your eyesight, your sinuses, your brain capacity and your throat comfort. He's been taking Nyquil all week and cough drops. Getting up and trudging off to work... regardless of how he feels. We prayed for him last night in our small group. I love my husband. He is such a good man. PS. He hasn't turned on ESPN since the playoff game. He's fine with not knowing what everyone has to say about the Vikings and Bret Favre. The wound has not healed... that sucker may take some time. :)

Well, as I sit here and type.... my beautiful baby girl is talking to me, reaching for things and smiling. We are going to have lunch with the big kids and then going to the library with them later. So, I better wrap up this little update.

On Facebook a lot of people are making their profile pictures to someone who is a celebrity that they look like. I have been told I look like Oprah..and Eddie Money you decide. lol

I Believe in You...

I have always had an understanding to the heart of a child. It's hard for me to explain. The spirit that God puts in children motivates me. Their trust. Their smiles. Their mimicking of adults. Example: You give Josie a big toothie grin and she'll give you one back times ten! Her whole face lights up. There is something about a child's innocence, their hopes, their honesty that I just totally dig. Kids tell it like it is. They do what adults are thinking about doing or saying. Sometimes it can be inappropriate, sometimes it can be downright funny and sometimes it ministers to my heart more than I could ever imagine.

I have a couple examples. I'll use my children to start. Grace has always wanted to please. She definately is gifted in "helping" she serves gladly. She does not want to disappoint. Especially her parents. Well, one time she was watching Nickeoldeon tv... she was probably 4 and there was a song being performed in some video. The words to the song went... " I'm not perfect... no I'm not I'm not perfect because I've got what I got.. I do my very best, I do my very best. I do my very best each day. I'm not perfect and I hope you like me that way." OK... so I am listening to the song and she turns to me and says very matter of factly. "Mom, you don't like that song... do you?" I said, "I like that song Grace! I think it's a good song. Why don't you think I like it?" Again, very matter of factly she said, "Because it talks about being perfect, and you like it when I am perfect." READ: stabbing pains in heart begin right about now. READ: GASP! READ: GASP... pass out. My beautiful daughter thought I expected her to be perfect all the time. She anticipated I did not like the song because I only dug it when she was perfect. And at the tender age of four she told me about it. She was no manipulating me, she was not even condeming me. She as very matter of fact about it and just thought I was going to agree with her. Humbling people. Very humbling. But cool at the same time. It also provided me the opportunity to talk to her about how I loved her no matter what. That no one is perfect. Including me and that is why Jesus died on the cross because he knew we could not be perfect and that we needed Him in our lives.

Next story... Toby... This week. Recently I have been researching books about kids and one of the books I am ordering is called, "10 things kids need to hear." One of those things was "I Believe in you." Toby is an encourager and likes to be encouraged. On Mondays at his school they have a morning assembly. Where all the kids get together in the gym. At the gym kids are handed out awards for cool things like, responsibility, integrity, honesty, etc.etc. The teachers nominate their students and they award the kids at the assembly. Whenever Toby's friends in his class receive awards. There is what I would call a golf clap going on. The kids are clapping. Parents are gathered around the outskirts of the gym clapping and smiling and the child walks up to get their award. Well Toby thinks it's the coolest thing when one of his friends gets an award. I laughed at him the first time he did it because of his enthusiasm. His friend Chloe got her award this year. She is in the "other" Kindergarten class, but because he knew her he was so excited she got the award. He started fist pumping and hooting and hollering and yelled, "WAY TO GO CHLOE!" He really like to see his friends succeed.

Well, this past week... Toby was walking into school. He was a little needy getting ready for school. Wanting hugs, asking me if I was coming to see him at lunch. Coming back to the house on his way to walk to school and told me his legs were cold. There was one thing after another. He never does this. Normally, he goes off to school with no problems. He is excited for gym class, he can't wait for lunchtime or showing his show and tell item. They also have this system in place so kids can learn classroom behavior. If they are doing something that doesn't coincide with how the class operates... or is not ok. They have them color in a rectangle. Toby has started to associate if he colors in a rectangle it defines who he is. Everyday he tells me if he colored in a rectangle. I've been trying to focus on other things in class so he doesn't get so preoccupied with the rectangles. Anyway, I put him in my van and I drove him to school and dropped him off. I gave him a hug and prayed for him. He ran up to the school and stopped about halfway and yelled, "Hey MOM!" I said, "Yes Toby? He said, " Can you say, I BELIEVE IN YOU... because it helps me not get rectangles." This was so out of the blue. I must have told him I believed in him one morning and he remembered. And he needed to hear it so badly... he asked for it.

Both of these examples are sometimes what I need to do as an adult. How many times to I believe the lie that God wants me to be perfect in order for him to love me? How many times do I need to hear from God, I BELIEVE IN YOU. Maybe when I'm not sure I can do it all by myself. My kids really bless me in so many ways... I thought I'd share a couple of them. lv, jen

Here I am... speed blogging

Wow... It's been too long since my last post. God is stretching me to get myself in a place of being a little more organized with my time. Let's see since the last post...what's been happening.

I saw a Christian life coach (courtesy of my awesome boss) - blog content
I agonized over a playoff game (but I still love Bret Favre)
I am planning a Daddy Daughter Dance
I bought a dress for Grace for said dance
I am watching Josie get in crawling position (no forward movement yet)
My son asked me to tell him " I believe in you." (blog content for sure)
I shoveled about 16 feet of snow over a two week period
I have had one date with my husband
I'm helping my Mom rent her condo
I'm reading a new book called Redeeming Love... pretty much love it already
Looking for a women's bible study (weekly)
Still need to workout (as if shoveling were not enough)
Praying lots
Dreaming lots

Anyway, I'm not sure if there is something called speed blogging but this has been my month. I think I'll take a couple of things and expand on them. Have to go feed Josie who is yelling at me right now. :)

Back in the saddle

I am one of those people who run around doing a lot of things but sometimes lose sight of the important things. I have needed to purchase a battery charger for my digital camera for a long time. It totally is missing and I have looked high and low for it. Praying I would find it. (mainly because I did not want to pay for another one). But alas it is gone. So I sucked it up and bought a new battery charger this week. I am so thrilled. I have captured new pics of our precious baby girl. She is hilarious. She is doing new things this week. She yells at the "big kids" when they are all over playing with Play doh at the table. She plays with toys in her height chair and "talks" to them to tell them how it is. She totally cracks me up. She also play with her voice. Yelling loudly just so she can hear it. She wants to touch everyhing. She is especially enamoured with little tags on her stuffed toys. Her little fingers try to grasp it...usually with her tongue poking out while she concentrates really hard. Joy. Pure Joy.

Well, here are some recent pics of our precious "monkey". She has obtained that nick name. I think it's because she smiles when I say the word... the sound of the word makes her smile. I will also be taking video at some point. I pray I can figure out how to upload a video.

Love you all. Peace to you this new year! lv, jen

PS - The massive amounts of drool in each picture are just an indication of how much she loves the teeth hiding just below her gums... waiting to burst forth!;)

Reflecting on a New Year

PS - This song is dedicated to my friend Jill... she and her husband Mark LOVE this song.

At the encouragement of my sister in LOVE... "B" I am posting a blog today. BK and I take New Years Eve and the New Year to reflect on our family life together our blessings and starting fresh a New Year. I've been busy preparing my home for the new Year. Throwing things away, reducing clutter, organizing and folding laundry. I seriously think I have accumulated about 10 years of socks in this family. It's time to purge some of them.

My baby bro flies back to New York today. It is always bitter sweet when I say goodbye to him. I love him so much. I want him here. My kids ADORE him. But I know God has really cool life planned for him in NYC. I am excited for him to get back to it. Excited to hear how it all unfolds before him.

I am very content being home with my kiddos. Making them popcorn and hot cocoa (a treat after they cleaned their rooms) listening to them play together, laugh together and just hang out in their home. I am fussing over Josie, feeding her,changing her, playing with her. I havent really had much big kid qt with the older kids. I am praying I get to take them sledding or ice skating soon. What a blast that will be.

New Years Eve used to be "PARTY TIME" in my life prior to children. BK and I would stay out REALLY late, go to bars, and feel HORRIBLE on New Years Day. This year I am looking forward to Pizza Rolls, Buffalo wings, and BK is picking up a board game we can play with the kids tonight before bed. Then we will all go to bed around 9am.... (that's staying up late in this house!) And feel great in tomorrow morning. It may not sound exciting or thrilling or like a party to you. But the thought of spending time together as a family seems like the coolest thing I could possibly do.

I am also reflecting today on how God constantly is transforming us and making us new. I will not be the same person I was in 2009. So today I say goodbye to the Jen Kline of 2009 and look forward to the exciting adventure that awaits me in 2010. Some of it may be good.. some of it may be bad... but I am so gladI have the confidence that no matter what my faith, my hope and my joy in Jesus Christ will see me through every day. What a blessing my faith is to me. What an awesome blessing.

This Christmas

I love Christmas. As I sit here drinking my coffee and listening to Christmas music, I get teary eyed. Maybe it's PMS, maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's the holy spirit touching my heart and breaking it for the things God is doing in me and my life. Who knows. What I do know is that a long time ago, God sent his son, that we would call him Immanuel "God with us." And I am so very thankful for the gift He gave me in his son Jesus.

I am done shopping, I am done running around... I am ready to bask this Christmas in the true meaning of this holiday. I am ready to celebrate the greatest gift this world has been given. A baby boy, named Jesus who came to save us all. He came to give us life abundantly. He came to show us how to treat each other, love each other and help us fulfill God's plan for our lives. That's something to get excited about.

Jill and I were talking about it and we both have experienced the same tradition. We have a nativity scene with no baby Jesus in the manger until Christmas morning He amazingly appears there on Christmas Day. :) I will wake up Christmas morning, put Jesus in he nativity and thank God for all of the blessings of my life, my friends, my family, my church, my God. I will remember this Christmas how important this baby was many years ago... but I will mostly remember how important He is to me today in my life.

Thank you God for sending Jesus to be my savior. Thank you that you love me that much. Thank you for your relationship with me, for how you work in my life and the lives of my family and friends. Thank you for Christmas.

And then she prayed....

She is going to poop when she sees this blog. But I had to write about it. As you can tell from my last post, I've been having myself a little pity party. After I wrote that post I met with my friend Jill... in prayer. We have been prayer partners for some time now. We've had to try to adjust the times and days we pray now that I am out of the house more and am running around like a chicken. But I cannot tell you how important this is to me.

You see Jill has discipled this heart of mine to draw closer to the Lord. She is wise. She loves God SO much. She wants to please Him. She wants her life to reflect Him. Her husband too... discipled me to live my life closer to the Lord. It's funny because as I look back on this four year friendship I have with her. It had to be God doing so much in this relationship. Each experience we have together, each element of this friendship spoke to my heart. We've been on adventurous road trips, we've ministered together, we've loved kids and teens, we've shared mommy stories where we've laughed and cried, we've shared husband stories where we've mostly laughed, we've cried about sad things, and we've loved each other's children. But what's best is that we've prayed.

Jill prayed for me a long time ago when I first came to the River church. I've posted about this before, but I was a mess. Searching for Jesus, I believed he died on the cross for me and my sins, but I wanted to understand why that was important. What the heck? He died such a long time ago? How is that relevant to me today? What did that mean? So I attended a women's ministry event with our church I heard my other friend and our senior Pastor's wife Linn speak about specific love. She told personal stories about how God reached into her life and touched her specifically. She told stories about how God is an intricate friend. How he knows the details and he sends the holy spirit to comfort and love us right where we need it most. That was it. That's all I needed to hear. That makes sense. Jesus did not die a long time ago just so we could talk about his death and be thankful he made that sacrifice thousands of years ago. He died because he knew we would need him and he died to show us God's love for us. He died so we knew we could be in relationship with God because of his sacrifice.

I digress... at that women's ministry event I asked for prayer. It was the first time in my life I had asked someone else to pray for me... now that I think about it. It was the first time anyone had offered. It was the best gift someone could give me. And Miss Palmer did it. She prayed hard. She prayed specifically and not just asking God for things, but praising him for things, I felt like I was in a private conversation she was having with God and it was about me. It was powerful.
And my prayers were answered. In small little specific ways after that day, I knew God was working in my life. He was speaking to my heart. This Christian stuff was not a joke. It was real. God was for the first time in my life visible to me. I could sense his love for me for my family. I watched him in the circumstances. He was there. He still is.

So, Jill and I prayed on Wednesday. She prayed for me again, in conversation with God. She prayed for peace, for courage for God's plan. She prayed for my family, my husband my marriage. She prayed for my ministry. What an awesome gift she is to me. What an awesome gift...the gift of prayer can be. Anyway, the next day I was getting all three kids ready to head out the door. I was packing up snacks, Billy was helping me and as I was picking up Toby's sweatshirt on the couch, it happened. Like it has happened so many times before... I felt joy. Pure joy. I know it sounds crazy... but I felt a flooding of joy. Given the things I was doing... (Getting ready for work and school) on the outside there is not much joy in that... but God provides us with all of our needs. With God all things are possible. I felt like a good Mom, I loved my husband, was I running around like a chicken? Yes... I was. But I knew I was right where God wanted me to be. What an awesome gift.

So this Christmas... I am going to ask all my bloggy friends to find someone to pray with. Find someone who loves the Lord who you trust who has been a big influence in your life and pray. And watch what happens. Watch God show up. Watch God draw nearer to you than you have ever experienced. What a faithful awesome God we have. He died thousands of years ago so she could pray for me. And he could be trusted to come through because he loves me.