It again has been a while since my posting. I have to say.. it's not a priority. But man do I love to blog.
I have been busy with riverKIDS stuff and working with about 50 other folks on rolling out a Daddy Daughter Dance in Durango.
It was successful. In so many ways. There was fruit in relationships, there was fruit in our church family working together. There was fruit in doing something cool for our community. Giving instead of getting.
Then there was the personal fruit. I was wondering why it was so hard for me to plan this dance. I could not put my finger on the heaviness I felt as I planned and coordinated this event. The truth of the matter is... I wished I had done something like this with my Dad. Please don't take this the wrong way... my Dad was not horrible. My Dad did a great job raising 4 crazy kids... but I think it is natural when I see my baby girl going to the dance with her Dad to think about how cool it would have been to do the same as a little girl.
I believe God put me in this position. He knew my hearts desire for girl and their Daddy's to have a special moment and he put me in charge of making it come to fruition... and it worked. It was God breathed and a wonderful night for little girls and their fathers. It was very special for Grace and Billy too.
I am most proud of my awesome husband... to took his baby girl out to eat beforehand.. who bought her a corsage and met her in my office. (She hid in the closet to surprise him.. then jumped out when he came in the room).
The last song was Taylor Swift's "The Best Day". And Bill picked Grace up like he did when she was three and he twirled her around and hugged her tight. I am so proud of my husband for stopping what he was doing... and taking his baby girl out for the evening and showing her his love. All the while, reflecting the heart and love of our heavenly father in such an awesome way. Grace as a Daddy who wants her to know God, loves her, cherishes her and protects her. I am so thankful for Billy and the awesome relationship he has with his baby girl. (pause the playlist)
The Best Day - by Taylor Swift
I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall But I know you're not scared of anything at all Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away But I know I had the best day with you today
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay But I know I had the best day with you today
I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run And I had the best days with you
There is a video I found from back when I was three You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall I know you were on my side even when I was wrong And I love you for giving me your eyes For staying back and watching me shine And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say That I had the best day with you today
My baby girl after 7 months has herself a cold. It is now 1:59am and I am up... listening to her cough in her crib. I've tried rocking her, I've nursed her, pacifier works until she coughs... then it's all over again. She is playing with a toy in her crib, talking to herself until her next cough comes on.
I used that nasty suctin thing that sucks boogies out of noses so she didn't have so much drainage into her throat. It worked a little bit and I was surprised at what a trooper she was enduring the suction.
I can't sleep. I am wide awake. So I thought I would blog. Well guys... as usual God is the constant goodness in my life. I've been praying for, seeking and trying to understand the "LOVE" of God more fully. I get all of the joy,peace provision... but do I really understand his love? Will I ever really understand it? Well, to say the least I want to know it more. If I truly surrendered all I have in my life and was left with me and God... would I feel his love? Could I?
I got up the other morning and went to get Josie from her crib. The minute she saw me - a smile. A big huge whole face lights up smile. My heart leapt out of my chest. She loves me. She knows me. She's excited to see me. She forgives me. She has Grace for me. She trusts me. Then it dawned on me. So does God. Everytime he sees me, listens to me, watches me and protects me. Everytime he is praised by me. And even when I'm not doing anything he loves me with unabandoned love.
My playlist is crazy lately.. I am having email issues... but there is a worship song sung by Kim Walker called. "How He loves us"... I encourage you to google it and listen. It has been playing in my head all week.
Well, I better go down and try again to rock my baby to sleep. She needs her Mama... I'm here sweet Josie... I'm here.
Well, it's been a little rough this week (for lack of a better term). We are not in crisis, we are not crazed. It's just been one of those weeks where can look back and say I made it through. Marriage, Motherhood and full-time Ministry are a fun combination (and by fun I mean insane!) :)
I'll give you a visual. Dishes... most of the necessary dishes are washed and put away. A stack of dirty pans, cookie sheets, pyrex and big bowls sit on my counter untouched. Paperwork is piled up everywhere on the computer desk.... bills, schoolwork,art projects, junk mail all lay waiting to be sorted (and mostly thrown huge pile of laundry awaits to be washed and folded and put away. Seemingly a task that should happen fairly easily but in my world just doesn't make the cut! Kids rooms are overflowing with toys. It's time to put Grace and Josie in one room and Toby in the other. They need their own bedrooms. I'm thinking I'll tackle that this weekend.
My son had a complete meltdown week. He suddenly misses me and does not want me to leave him at school. He says he misses me too much. I got to have a come to work with Mommy day on Monday and the rest of the week has been stressful dropping him off wondering if he will able to adjust and stay. His teacher is wonderful, understanding caring and loving. She and her aide are working to help about 20 little kindergarteners understand the desired behavior needed to learn in a classroom setting. They are working on all kinds of skills with the kids. Commmon to their developmental stages... being in the classroom gave me an amazing respect and love for his teacher. She is kind, compassionate and on a daily basis loves my child enough to help me teach him the skills he will need to grow up into an awesome little educated man. I have to admit, I've had a couple meltdowns because during these episodes with my sweet boy... I am planning a Daddy Daughter Dance for the community. God is teaching me about trusting him, trusting others and giving myself the grace to try and possibly fail at something I totally believe in. It's not fun but I pray the pay off is huge. For every Dad(or father figure) and daughter that buys a ticket I am praying this experience is a memory they will carry with them the rest of their lives. In the midst of all of this, my husband has one of those foggy head colds that rock your eyesight, your sinuses, your brain capacity and your throat comfort. He's been taking Nyquil all week and cough drops. Getting up and trudging off to work... regardless of how he feels. We prayed for him last night in our small group. I love my husband. He is such a good man. PS. He hasn't turned on ESPN since the playoff game. He's fine with not knowing what everyone has to say about the Vikings and Bret Favre. The wound has not healed... that sucker may take some time. :)
Well, as I sit here and type.... my beautiful baby girl is talking to me, reaching for things and smiling. We are going to have lunch with the big kids and then going to the library with them later. So, I better wrap up this little update.
On Facebook a lot of people are making their profile pictures to someone who is a celebrity that they look like. I have been told I look like Oprah..and Eddie Money you decide. lol
God is good. I am writing this blog to reflect on how that looks in my life, I am a Mom a sister a friend and a wife. And above it all I am a child of God. How awesome is that? I started this blog to be able to reflect on what that journey looks like. God has big things in store for this family of mine. I am just here to share my story.