On Monday we traveled about 6.5 hours from Durango to where my Mom lives in Elephant Butte New Mexico. This is a much needed hiatus. MUCH needed time with my family and much needed time to decompress. I am thankful for so much, yet struggling at the same time? Can anyone relate? Maybe it's the holidays... but I believe it is more of a work God is doing in me... a BIG one, that I have yet to understand what it is. I always pray that God keep transforming me, but with that request comes seasons of facing things that aren't fun. Maybe seeing more of my own yuck I need to come to terms with. MORE trusting God. LESS of me. Maybe that's my prayer this year. When I ask God for MORE of Him and LESS of me am I prepared for what that might mean in my life? Am I ready for the sacrifice that comes with it? If I want to be "different" and transformed doesn't it mean that I'll have to do things I have not done before. Explore areas of things I have avoided for so long and TRUST that God will go before me, not forsake me and love me through all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly? Whew?
I've lived a "safe" life for a very long time. I'm stepping out.. trusting Him and thanking God for what's coming.
I have been meaning to write this letter for some time.
OK... so I know I have been kind of tough on you the last 8 years. With all the babies inside my body and the stretching, working out, then stretching again, I'll admit you've taken a beating.
I'll also admit that I haven't made proper pant choices and jean decisions in that I try to squeeze into a smaller jean size than appropriate for my body. It's a weakness I have... God is working on me.
And I know I've had three children and made you carry about 20 lbs of baby around for quite some time... I'm always bending at the waist to pick up things... carry things etc. etc.
But really, why did you have to leave? I miss having a waist! I miss you. I miss how my jeans feel and how my body looks. Having the stature that I do (fun sized) when I don't have a waist I look like a tree trunk. It's just how it is. My vertically challenged body can't afford not to have a waist... so I am begging you to please come back.
Please come back as a miracle. As a work of the Holy spirit in which I would not have to do one Pilates, yoga or cardio move and you would out of nowhere be back with me on my body. I would have curves again... oh what a day that would be.
If you come back to me, I would take you shopping for new jeans that fit me better. I would make Bill pick everything up and I would try not to bend over so much. I am not having anymore children that would put more stress and strain on you so we won't have to worry about that. Oh waist of mine, please also come back as a six pack....what a day that would be when we would be reunited again. From tree trunk to chick with a six pack waist. Ahhhh... how healthy I would feel.
I just wanted to write to you because I miss you and I look forward to a day when we will be reunited again. (did I mention without situps as well?)
God is good. I am writing this blog to reflect on how that looks in my life, I am a Mom a sister a friend and a wife. And above it all I am a child of God. How awesome is that? I started this blog to be able to reflect on what that journey looks like. God has big things in store for this family of mine. I am just here to share my story.