OK... as each day passes we get closer and closer to July 14th. The big C section day. The day we get to meet Josie and see her for the first time. The day our lives will change into a new season of normal and we get to experience the miracle of life again. What an amazing blessing. Totally awesome. Totally amazing. I am totally in love and I haven't even met her yet.
Isn't it weird that even in all this joy and excitement and anticipation and coolness I sit here and I worry? I worry about her health, about my other children and how they will react and how this birth is effecting their summer fun. I worry about my health and my belly and my healing. I worry about Bill and how he will adjust I worry about finances and how organized or unorganized my house is. I cry a lot. I cry about weird things. I worry because my ankles are swelling and that I am blowing my nose too much. I worry about my iron levels. Whew... no wonder I am exhausted!
Then I remember this verse:
Matthew 6:34
34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And I am reminded.... that the God who created this life inside of me, who created the universe who made my two other beautiful children, who has answered my prayers, who has picked me up when I was a puddle on the floor who drew me near to him right when I needed him most, who provided me with an awesome husband... that God of the universe has it all taken care of. That the only thing he requires is that I love Him back, focus on God and try my best to trust in what he has for me. When I think about that and focus on this moment he has given me... it all melts away.
Today in the midst of my worry Toby came over and said something like, " Mom, can I have a juice box." As I looked into his eyes and kissed his cheek, and told him he could go get himself a juice box... I felt my heart overflow in thankfulness for that one moment. Being present in the moment is something I am going to focus on. God does not want me to worry about the next moment. Just enjoy each moment I have and take them one by one.
So, join me in this quest...as a Mom who tries not to worry so much. Who trusts God. Who loves her family and her life and looks forward to each moment.
PS. Had to play some Micheal Jackson for today's blog.
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3 comments:
God always gives us enough grace for What IS not What IF. I, too, deal with those same moments/seasons of worry but am reminded constantly that God will give me plenty of grace for here and now.
I know this journey of cooking this baby has been long, especially near the end, but hang in there. You're an awesome mama and you'll be an awesome mama to this new little one. Yes, there will be adjustments, but it may surprise you and be easier than you thought. And if it isn't, well then God will give you grace for What IS, when it's IS :) Make sense?
Love you mama! So thankful for the wisdom God shares through you!
And you rock MJ whenever you want. Who's bad? I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. Whoo!
J - What a blessed day coming your way! And if it comes faster, we are 2 minutes from the hospital and can get G and T any time! They can have their day - or night at Miss Kim's!
I love you girl and can't wait to spend more time with you and J!
Praying for you! Call anytime!
love the fact that you crank the 80's music...the captain and I do play some on occasion...me more than him. I love me some old school bon jovi. thanks for all the prayers, can't wait to see little josie!
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