The "Big Kids" and adding to the Kline Family

Grace and I were talking the other day about Josie. As we all prepare for this new bundle of joy... and hope and blessings I am seeing my "older kids" in a whole new way. I am remembering their births, remembering their birthdays, remembering that 5 and 7 years ago... they were my new precious bundles of joy. I was explaining to Grace how God just makes "more love" when there is a new baby. I had this impression that Grace would be the most excited about Josie. She is very excited this is true, but lately I think she is wrestling with excitement and questions and wondering... what is this going to mean in terms of being the "girl" in this family.
When I asked her about what she thought about Josie she said that she was kind of hoping the baby would be a boy... because then she could be the only girl in the family and she would get to have all the glittery things.... all the girly stuff.
But then she said, "But I'd rather have a girl... than no baby, I'm just glad God gave us this one." When I had my first miscarriage I think it bothered Grace more than I ever thought... her confidence was rocked a little bit. She understands the blessing of this baby and is willing to "share" her status as only daughter for the sake of the blessing of a new baby. I explain to her that she will be my "BIG GIRL" and Josie will be the "BABY". That Grace will have special things as the older sister and Josie will have special things because she is the youngest. We talked about how when Grace is 16 years old and Josie is 9 years old.. Grace will be able to drive her places. That she is going to learn from Grace and she will know the love of a sister.

Toby on the other hand, still wants nothing to do with the thought of us having a baby girl. When he says his prayers at night he is still asking God to send him a brother. My son is stubborn when he gets a thought in his head. He's not bending for anything. He is still excited to teach her not to put things in her mouth and teach her how to ride a bike and teach her not to throw toys and how to play baseball. When I can get him off the fact she is not going to be a boy... he tells me all the things he will teach her. But when we talk about gender. He's utterly bugged. :)

Billy is making me laugh a lot. I keep trying to explain to him how things are going to change around the home. We've both forgotten what it's like to have a baby in the house. We both have forgotten what "truly" sleepless feels like. We both have forgotten how much a baby relies on his/her parents. But we know it's coming. My husband is awesome. He gets teary eyed when he thinks about Josie and the blessing she will be to him and his heart. He has diabetes and really watches what he eats, but on Father's Day "treated" himself to some Mountain Dew. A treat for Daddy on Father's Day but also something he drinks when he's stressed. He sits in the nursery and ponders this family and our life. I am so excited to see what a great Dad he is going to be to three kids it may be tough at times, but we know it is only for a season and God will be in all of it.

As I pray about this pregnancy and this life inside of me, I have this sense that I am going to "learn" a lot. God is putting it on my heart that during this next season or phase in our lives we are going to "learn". I hope this learning phase means wisdom and a better understanding of parenting and being a family of five. I pray that this learning and this knowledge comes with an ability to take things in stride. I pray also that during this learning comes clarity and peace about who I am as a woman of God, wife, mother and friend.

As I've said in my profile. God has some big things in store for this family of ours. Josie is one of them and we can have a confidence it may be a "wild" ride, but it is going to be awesome and something we can look back on and be proud we did as a family. I am so proud to be a Mom and wife in this Kline family in Colorado. All I can do is get on my knees and thank God for all of his amazing blessings in this life.

PS. This song is awesome. I bought Billy this CD for Father's Day when Grace was really little. I absolutely love it. It is my Father's Day song for all Dads... it can apply to Father's and daughters and fathers and sons... it's a father's heart for his children. love it lots. I think God loves us like this. It's too cool.