Friday, July 23, 2010

Letters of Intent...the family van



Dear said "family vehicle",

Having taken a long family vacation and a variety of short trips. I would first like to thank you for continuing engine goodness and your ability to get me and my brood around the nation this summer.

However, this thing you have with the ignition and you swallowing my keys has me just about to the end of my rope. Being able to completely turn off the engine and pull the keys out of the ignition would bring me no greater joy. I would appreciate it if you could release the vice grip you have on my 98 Honda Odyssey key and let me have it back.

Having three children and knowing I have lots of running around to do... it is a little bit frustrating that every time I have to stop the car I have to unhook your battery. I am sure you don't want EVERYONE to see "under your hood" ALL the time. So, I am asking nicely (and praying to the Lord my God) to see if you would just give me back my keys and my time. This time can be spent in better ways, (painting my fingernails, loving my kiddos, making yummy meals and encouraging my husband).

The fact that in order to fix you it costs in the neighborhood of $500.00 we are not willing to part with said money. (Do you have any idea how many diapers and school supplies that buys?) So let's just come to an agreement and you give me back my keys and I promise I will fix your rear seal oil leak in the near future. (sorry if you wanted that to remain private).

I look forward to a day where we will live in harmony once again. Thank you too that your radio works so I can blast my music while chauffering my kiddos around Durango. Peace to you today Honda Odyssey. NOW GIVE ME MY KEYS BACK!

Lv,
jen

3 comments:

Jill said...

Dear friend,

You did a fabulous job writing to your van. I sure hope, for your sake and for your van's sake, that you two can work out your disagreements. I agree that the van is being very stubborn for really no reason at all. I hope that it doesn't come to mediation or TNT - you know, dynamite.

Sincerely,
your loyal blog reader and fan

Unknown said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!

You seriously crack me up lady. You want I should come over and have a little discussion with this van, eh?

Miss. Jinny said...

Oh my gosh seriously you just made my day and made me laugh out loud! I love it that I just got off the phone with you but before I did a sweet couple came over while you where lifting up the hood to ask if you needed help hahaha! :) I love you so much! :)