December Joy...

Josie via my mobile phone

Josie knowing she's not supposed to DIG in the garbage, but trying to be cute anyway.

I can't remember a time when I've been more excited about Christmas. I can't remember being more elated about celebrating the birth of Christ. It brings me such joy to think about decorating the house, buying a fresh tree and decorating it with the kids and making sure we are all focused on the reason we celebrate this beautiful season and time of year. My husband is healthy, my kids are happy and healthy and we have some of the best friends and family in the world.

I was thinking about some past posts and it kind of makes me giggle how much I went into ministry with barely a smidge of understanding in terms of what God was doing with me to prepare me for this journey. I am being sanctified, stripped of the "old Jen" and being given some revelation about myself that sometimes is not so fun to know. I am giving up control of things... all the while kicking and screaming because it's so uncomfortable. I am learning to trust and love a God with my most precious priority. That which is my family.

In a way, God has said to me... I've got them Jen. You don't have to be ME for them. You just have to be you... and love ME with all your heart. My friend Linn created a blog post about how the disciples threw down their nets and followed Jesus. They dropped everything that mattered to them to follow Him. In many ways I worship my children. I am overly consumed by how I AFFECT how I IMPACT how I TRAIN and how I LOVE THEM. I know it says in the Bible to train a child up in the way they should go. But it also says not to don't WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING... THANK HIM FOR ALL HE HAS DONE...

So, I'm in this awesome church, being impacted by God in such a personal way, seeking His kingdom here on earth. I'm listening to Him give me a vision, a passion and a burden for children and how much of a big deal they are to Him. I'm leading adults who themselves are learning from Him pressing into Him and being in relationship with me while they serve kids in our church. I'm trusting God with my husband and his health, I'm trusting God with my kids protection in public school and his provision for them in all that they need. I'm learning to manage my time and minister to kids and be honest with people about tough stuff. I'm dropping my nets. And following Him, trusting Him and "PRAYING ABOUT EVERYTHING."

My baby is now one and a half. My husband is on the road to a healthier life with the new medicine he is taking and I am looking forward to the next year and all that comes with it. I am done worrying, done complaining, done wondering. I am doing it. I am not looking back and I am following Him. Jesus, Help me to always follow you. Help me to KNOW that you are who you say you are and that you'll do what you say your going to do. Lord, help me to know you have my kids in your arms, that those plans for them that you had intended are in full force and they will see them through to fruition. God give me peace about riverKIDS and what you want me to do to help reach more kids in Durango. And Lord most of all bring me people who understand what a "BIG DEAL" kids are to you.

I love you Lord. Thanks for this Christmas season. Thanks for putting up with me for so many things... and thanks for reminding me how much you love me.