It really does take a village

This week was crazy. My life before full time job working out of home was at such a slower pace. I feel like I am constantly going going going. I get home wind down and when I finally am able to relax all I want to do is go to bed. Please don't feel bad for me. I am motivated by the fact that God is refining me and teaching me, he is doing a new work in me. I've blogged before that I do not want to be the same my entire life I want God to transform me. Well let me tell you sister... my prayers have been answered! lol. I'm totally babbling here, so let me get to my blog topic.

I've been thinking a lot about my kids. Things have changed dramatically now that I work out of the home and both of them are in school. Josie is with my awesome nanny 3.5 days a week and it just all feels and looks very different. I have this uncomfortable feeling and I have been trying hard to pinpoint it. I've been concerned about the amount of time I get to spend with my kids, the quality of that time. Am I ministering and loving them as much as I want to minister and love other kids in our church? Do I do enough to train them in what the Bible says... who is influencing them? Do they love them? Do they I give them Grace? Do others? Do I discipline them enough? Is it working? Is Josie getting ripped off? Do I need to spend more time with her? Am I a workaholic? I've noticed that G and T are interested in relationships outside of Bill and I. Grace has a teacher at church she calls her "big brother." Toby is wrestling with and being taught by some awesome youth (Children of other members of staff). They want to play with friends run around and talk to other people, they are becoming a little more independent. I have to rely on so many other people and trust they have G and T's best interest at heart. Can I do that? I don't feel ready to do that. But during this season I have to. I have to trust that the poeple God has put in my life for this time and this season are going to be as good as they can be to my kids. I need other people in my life to "assist" me in raising and loving my children. I always say there is no bigger blessing to me that someone genuinely loving my children and wanting the goodness I want for them. There is no greater compliment than someone telling me how cool they think my kids are and meaning it. They are my greatest gifts in life. My heart swells when I think about them. Please don't get me wrong. They are not perfect children and I don't expect them to be. But I am just in awe of how tender my heart is for my kids and other people's kids. I think it is because kids take you at face value. They want to see Jesus reflected in people and when they don't it is more of a disappointment than we could ever know. G is at an age where she wants you to be impressed with her independence. She wants you to know what she is learning... it's a normal part of her development. Toby wants attention. For people to see him. For people to notice what's special about him. I notice that in a lot of the kids in our church at the ages my children are as well. These are all normal things that kids their age want and need. But can I trust that my community will know that? I guess I just needed to write about the fact that a part of me has to give up some of the control I want over my kids. But as much as I want to do that at the same time I need to allow other people to speak into their lives, I need other people to love them, care about them and even sometimes disappoint them. I need to be able to ask for help when I need it and admit I cannot do it all. My spirit will seek out those who genuinely want to come alongside me to raise up awesome little Kline kids who people know love the Lord and are amazing examples of that love. People who can do it without judgement, without criticism, without high expectations. Again... hard stuff. I think we all want this as Mommies. People to care about our kids as much as we care about them. Truly... it is the biggest blessing. Do you have a village? Was it hard for you to give up control? Are you trusting God to do help? What about the disappointments? Just curious!