unbelievably high heels...

So, I knew I had to blog about this because I left the store like I needed to talk to someone about it. Or at least vent about it a little.

I went shopping today for professional black dress shoes I can wear with a skirt. They used to be called PUMPS. I have NO IDEA what you would call shoes like that now. So I went to a store at the Durango Mall. Your average shoe store with quite a bit of selection. I walked by the flip flops, (too casual) I walked by the strappy shoes, too summery, I walked over to where they might have "dress shoes" for women.

Now let me preface this by saying, I love to wear heels. I am 5'1" so anytime I can be a couple inches taller to reach an "average" height I am giddy. However, the "dress" section of this store that contained shoes with heels blew my mind. Yes, they had appropriate dress shoes.. which were probably 2 inch heels. The selection was few.. maybe 3 pairs of shoes that first of all looked cute and second of all were comfortable. (I could write a whole other blog about shoe comfort later ;)

Anyway, the other aisle where all the other dress shoes were had shoes that I truly believe should ONLY be sold at Fredrick of Hollywood or some store in the red light district of Amsterdam. Holy Moly! Am I getting old or are stilleto heels just commonplace in the year 2010. First of all, there is no way on God's green earth I am walking up on stage at church in stilleto heels with my professional suit and skirt. NO WAY. But seriously it was the majority of the selection! Which begs the question. Can shoes be too sexy? I think I am really getting old.

I did finally find a pair after searching high and low. I swear maybe it's my age... I can't buy shoes that make me look like I am trying to be 22 and I can't buy shoes that my Grandmother would wear, but seriously I think the shoe companies are missing a market of women who would buy more shoes if they created styles that were a little more practical and fabulous.

Enough said, Any thoughts on this? Thought I'd attach a new pic of the family. All 5 of us. We had them taken in Iowa and when I look at them I think my family looks beautiful, but they make me want to go to the gym and lift weights. :) I know Jill... Baby steps... baby steps...
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Letters of Intent...the family van

Dear said "family vehicle",

Having taken a long family vacation and a variety of short trips. I would first like to thank you for continuing engine goodness and your ability to get me and my brood around the nation this summer.

However, this thing you have with the ignition and you swallowing my keys has me just about to the end of my rope. Being able to completely turn off the engine and pull the keys out of the ignition would bring me no greater joy. I would appreciate it if you could release the vice grip you have on my 98 Honda Odyssey key and let me have it back.

Having three children and knowing I have lots of running around to do... it is a little bit frustrating that every time I have to stop the car I have to unhook your battery. I am sure you don't want EVERYONE to see "under your hood" ALL the time. So, I am asking nicely (and praying to the Lord my God) to see if you would just give me back my keys and my time. This time can be spent in better ways, (painting my fingernails, loving my kiddos, making yummy meals and encouraging my husband).

The fact that in order to fix you it costs in the neighborhood of $500.00 we are not willing to part with said money. (Do you have any idea how many diapers and school supplies that buys?) So let's just come to an agreement and you give me back my keys and I promise I will fix your rear seal oil leak in the near future. (sorry if you wanted that to remain private).

I look forward to a day where we will live in harmony once again. Thank you too that your radio works so I can blast my music while chauffering my kiddos around Durango. Peace to you today Honda Odyssey. NOW GIVE ME MY KEYS BACK!

Lv,
jen

Happy Birthday Josie...

Josie turned one year old on the 14th. I was not able to post due to scheduling issues, but I just am so excited for her. I am so excited for the little girl she is growing up to be. She walked this week... across the living room. The look of excitement she has when she's has done it just makes my heart sing. I sat in my super hot house yesterday just playing with her. Laughing with her, reading her books, talking with her and practicing walking. She received a new little rocker from her Grandma for her birthday and she adores it. She sits on it, she kneels on it and she just rocks and jives. She is a total dancer girl. Any kind of music... ringtones.. whatever... she will start dancing to the beat.

She is pure joy to me. I am so thankful for her, for her life, for her beautiful heart and big voice. She is squealing and laughing and talking as much as a 1 year old can. She likes to grunt at people, she also LOVES those Gerber puffs and has discovered the wonder of Watermelon. We've devoured tons of it together this summer.

I feel like I post about this all the time, but seriously my children bring me more joy than I could ever describe. Is motherhood or being a parent easy? It is challenging and every day is an adventure. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Happy Birthday sweet Josie. We love you sweetie! Love, Mommy

Look Mom...

I have to post about this because I am so in love with my Gracie.. I need to talk about where she is at with her faith and what God is doing in her heart. Last year, Grace was in class at church and during the message of kids' church there was discussion about salvation. Kids were invited to ask Jesus into their hearts. I got a text from one of our awesome teacher and a good friend of mine saying she had asked Jesus into her heart. I teared up, I was so happy.

However, about 3 months ago... G and I were talking before bedtime and I was talking to her about if she understood what asking Jesus into her heart meant. Grace is very smart. She notices everything, she thinks things through... she watches relationships and people, she draws conclusions from behavior, she is a keen listener. So even though in that class she prayed "the prayer" I wanted to be sure she understood what it meant and why it was a cool thing.

I need to preface this a little bit. Because Grace's friends don't all believe what she believes she finds it very cool when she sees ANYTHING ANYWHERE that mentions God or Jesus. I bought her a Chapter book from a christian book store and she was so EXCITED when she saw they were talking about Jesus. We were watching the Duggers one time (19 and counting...) and one of the sons was talking about how he was waiting for the girl that God had created for him to marry. She beamed. She said,
"Mom... did you hear what he said?" He is talking about Jesus. And today she was on the computer playing a video game and they mentioned Jesus on it and she was blown away. I asked her, "Grace... why do you like to see Jesus' name on things?" She said because I never see games that have to do with Jesus. So it jumps out at me when it does.

Anyway, about 3 months ago... G and I were talking about asking Jesus into her heart. Did she understand why we ask Jesus to be with us? I talked to her about this verse:

9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."[e] 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."[f]

Well, Grace really loved hearing this message again. She loved to know that there was a God who wanted to be in her heart. She knows she needs Jesus. What a great gift. She asked me today... Mom why isn't there more "Jesus" games on the computer?

And I told her. Grace... it says in the Bible that some people will not believe that God wants to be in their lives. God give everyone a choice... and they can choose. I said sometimes believing you need a savior includes having to admit that you have sin... and some people don't want to look at their sin and admit they struggle or believe that God can heal them from that sin.

She is in awe of God, I'm praying that he just continues to draw her closer... in love. Show her the unending love he has for her... at a very early age. That her prayers are heartfelt, her passion for Jesus strong and her conviction to tell others something that burns within her. I am proud of my daughter for so many reasons, but her focus and thought that goes into her faith is amazing. Thank you Lord for Grace... when she was born.. I felt undeserving of such a precious gift. Thank you for revealing yourself to her... so that she might be a gift to everyone she meets... and blow them all away with her light and love. AMEN.

Let me introduce you... to my friend

Isn't she just the cutest thing?


I'm not sure how to write this post. I've written posts before about how God is transforming me. I have written about the change that takes place when you see, experience, realize God's specific love. When you witness miracles, when you experience emotional healing. When Jesus fills every void I have ever felt in my spirit. I have told of how I've tried it all. Drinking, drugs, friends, boys, money, corporate success, material things. None of it. Absolutley none of it is nearly as satisfying as my relationship with Jesus Christ. Nothing compares.

It's like I have a best friend that I want to introduce everyone too. However, He is this best friend who no one wants to talk about. Because if you talk about Him or this thing you know... people think you and your friend are going to judge them, condemn them. When it is the exact opposite.

This friend gives me encouragement, blesses me, loves me unconditionally and takes care of me. This friend is with me when I am struggling, laughs with me when I am joyful and cries with me when I am wrecked by tough things. This friend understands LOVE better than anyone or anything I know.

So when I say I want to introduce you to my friend... and you say, I don't know your friend. Your friend has never shown me love. Your friend has never been real to me or given me blessings. Your friend has never loved me.

I will say to you... let me introduce you to Jesus Christ. Draw near to Him... and he will draw near to you. You will see Him. You will experience His unfailing love and it will be the best choice you have ever made.

Rambings...

FYI.. this is a picture of Grace when she was about 1 1/2 year old. The one above it is of Josie today. Grace looks so much like Josie it's crazy! I am so bugged that my camera is fried. I am headed back to Office Depot this week to buy a battery to see if that will fix it. I am going to be bummed out if I need a new one. So in the meantime I will show pics from my Blackberry.

All is well on this homefront. I am busy with getting the vision and mission of riverKIDS launched in August. We've had some hiccups coming back to our house, but really I believe these things are distractions that are just taking me away from what God has planned for the ministry and my family. Let's just say that I am sick of dwelling on the negative and really focusing on the good. I am tired of evaluating, stressing, worrying and hurting. It is time to live in the joy of the Lord. Live out what I believe. Have faith that can move mountains. Believe that God is FOR ME... not against me. See the good in everything and move forward in the good and awesome plan that God has called me to.

Have you ever just felt like all you do is "manage?" BK and I have three small children, we are navigating a delicate time in our marriage. We are navigating through dealing with some of our own yuck and seeking God for transformation. We are learning what it looks like to work in ministry and minister to others while we ourselves are dealing with stuff. I need to support myself, keep myself healthy, support my family's health. We need more "FUN" in it! So, tis the time. To shake off the funk and step into a new day. A renewed time in our lives where we can look back and say... that was a FUN time serving God, each other and others.

We are promoting a summer of Crazy Love at our church. We are trying to love people like Jesus does. I am going to do it in fun ways, that promote good times for our famlies and kids. I can't wait. Smiling and excited. Here we go!

My hero... my Billy - Happy Father's Day BK

This Father's Day I am going to honor a man who blows my mind. My husband. God knew when he sent Billy my way exactly what I needed. He knew I needed to learn about contentment so he sent me Bill, he knew I needed to learn about choosing my words wisely... so he sent me Bill, he knew I needed to learn about reading "directions" so he sent me Billy. He knew I needed to see what loyalty and commitment looked like so he sent me Billy.

He also knew what an amazing father this man would be to our three beautiful children. He knew exactly what kind of man my children would need to show them what a Daddy who loved them no matter what looked like.

He'll ride bikes with the kids, he shows them how to plant in the garden, he cooks with them, he does homework with them, he reads their Bible devotionals and talks to them about their faith and he prays with them. He builds forts and makes popcorn for movie nights... he laughs with them and plays with them on the trampoline. He provides and works hard and loves his family.

I have told him before but I need to tell him this Father's Day that he is such an amazing man, I love his sweet heart and the way he is a rock to my life. He is my hero, my braveheart and my knight in shining armor! I love you Billy. Happy Father's Day.