Daddy's and Daughters

Well girls and boys...

It again has been a while since my posting. I have to say.. it's not a priority. But man do I love to blog.

I have been busy with riverKIDS stuff and working with about 50 other folks on rolling out a Daddy Daughter Dance in Durango.

It was successful. In so many ways. There was fruit in relationships, there was fruit in our church family working together. There was fruit in doing something cool for our community. Giving instead of getting.

Then there was the personal fruit. I was wondering why it was so hard for me to plan this dance. I could not put my finger on the heaviness I felt as I planned and coordinated this event. The truth of the matter is... I wished I had done something like this with my Dad. Please don't take this the wrong way... my Dad was not horrible. My Dad did a great job raising 4 crazy kids... but I think it is natural when I see my baby girl going to the dance with her Dad to think about how cool it would have been to do the same as a little girl.

I believe God put me in this position. He knew my hearts desire for girl and their Daddy's to have a special moment and he put me in charge of making it come to fruition... and it worked. It was God breathed and a wonderful night for little girls and their fathers. It was very special for Grace and Billy too.

I am most proud of my awesome husband... to took his baby girl out to eat beforehand.. who bought her a corsage and met her in my office. (She hid in the closet to surprise him.. then jumped out when he came in the room).

The last song was Taylor Swift's "The Best Day". And Bill picked Grace up like he did when she was three and he twirled her around and hugged her tight. I am so proud of my husband for stopping what he was doing... and taking his baby girl out for the evening and showing her his love. All the while, reflecting the heart and love of our heavenly father in such an awesome way. Grace as a Daddy who wants her to know God, loves her, cherishes her and protects her. I am so thankful for Billy and the awesome relationship he has with his baby girl.
(pause the playlist)

The Best Day - by Taylor Swift

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today

Alas... it has happened...

My baby girl after 7 months has herself a cold. It is now 1:59am and I am up... listening to her cough in her crib. I've tried rocking her, I've nursed her, pacifier works until she coughs... then it's all over again. She is playing with a toy in her crib, talking to herself until her next cough comes on.

I used that nasty suctin thing that sucks boogies out of noses so she didn't have so much drainage into her throat. It worked a little bit and I was surprised at what a trooper she was enduring the suction.

I can't sleep. I am wide awake. So I thought I would blog. Well guys... as usual God is the constant goodness in my life. I've been praying for, seeking and trying to understand the "LOVE" of God more fully. I get all of the joy,peace provision... but do I really understand his love? Will I ever really understand it? Well, to say the least I want to know it more. If I truly surrendered all I have in my life and was left with me and God... would I feel his love? Could I?

I got up the other morning and went to get Josie from her crib. The minute she saw me - a smile. A big huge whole face lights up smile. My heart leapt out of my chest. She loves me. She knows me. She's excited to see me. She forgives me. She has Grace for me. She trusts me. Then it dawned on me. So does God. Everytime he sees me, listens to me, watches me and protects me. Everytime he is praised by me. And even when I'm not doing anything he loves me with unabandoned love.

My playlist is crazy lately.. I am having email issues... but there is a worship song sung by Kim Walker called. "How He loves us"... I encourage you to google it and listen. It has been playing in my head all week.

Well, I better go down and try again to rock my baby to sleep. She needs her Mama... I'm here sweet Josie... I'm here.

Rough Week

Well, it's been a little rough this week (for lack of a better term). We are not in crisis, we are not crazed. It's just been one of those weeks where can look back and say I made it through. Marriage, Motherhood and full-time Ministry are a fun combination (and by fun I mean insane!) :)

I'll give you a visual. Dishes... most of the necessary dishes are washed and put away. A stack of dirty pans, cookie sheets, pyrex and big bowls sit on my counter untouched. Paperwork is piled up everywhere on the computer desk.... bills, schoolwork,art projects, junk mail all lay waiting to be sorted (and mostly thrown huge pile of laundry awaits to be washed and folded and put away. Seemingly a task that should happen fairly easily but in my world just doesn't make the cut! Kids rooms are overflowing with toys. It's time to put Grace and Josie in one room and Toby in the other. They need their own bedrooms. I'm thinking I'll tackle that this weekend.

My son had a complete meltdown week. He suddenly misses me and does not want me to leave him at school. He says he misses me too much. I got to have a come to work with Mommy day on Monday and the rest of the week has been stressful dropping him off wondering if he will able to adjust and stay. His teacher is wonderful, understanding caring and loving. She and her aide are working to help about 20 little kindergarteners understand the desired behavior needed to learn in a classroom setting. They are working on all kinds of skills with the kids. Commmon to their developmental stages... being in the classroom gave me an amazing respect and love for his teacher. She is kind, compassionate and on a daily basis loves my child enough to help me teach him the skills he will need to grow up into an awesome little educated man. I have to admit, I've had a couple meltdowns because during these episodes with my sweet boy... I am planning a Daddy Daughter Dance for the community. God is teaching me about trusting him, trusting others and giving myself the grace to try and possibly fail at something I totally believe in. It's not fun but I pray the pay off is huge. For every Dad(or father figure) and daughter that buys a ticket I am praying this experience is a memory they will carry with them the rest of their lives. In the midst of all of this, my husband has one of those foggy head colds that rock your eyesight, your sinuses, your brain capacity and your throat comfort. He's been taking Nyquil all week and cough drops. Getting up and trudging off to work... regardless of how he feels. We prayed for him last night in our small group. I love my husband. He is such a good man. PS. He hasn't turned on ESPN since the playoff game. He's fine with not knowing what everyone has to say about the Vikings and Bret Favre. The wound has not healed... that sucker may take some time. :)

Well, as I sit here and type.... my beautiful baby girl is talking to me, reaching for things and smiling. We are going to have lunch with the big kids and then going to the library with them later. So, I better wrap up this little update.

On Facebook a lot of people are making their profile pictures to someone who is a celebrity that they look like. I have been told I look like Oprah..and Eddie Money you decide. lol

I Believe in You...

I have always had an understanding to the heart of a child. It's hard for me to explain. The spirit that God puts in children motivates me. Their trust. Their smiles. Their mimicking of adults. Example: You give Josie a big toothie grin and she'll give you one back times ten! Her whole face lights up. There is something about a child's innocence, their hopes, their honesty that I just totally dig. Kids tell it like it is. They do what adults are thinking about doing or saying. Sometimes it can be inappropriate, sometimes it can be downright funny and sometimes it ministers to my heart more than I could ever imagine.

I have a couple examples. I'll use my children to start. Grace has always wanted to please. She definately is gifted in "helping" she serves gladly. She does not want to disappoint. Especially her parents. Well, one time she was watching Nickeoldeon tv... she was probably 4 and there was a song being performed in some video. The words to the song went... " I'm not perfect... no I'm not I'm not perfect because I've got what I got.. I do my very best, I do my very best. I do my very best each day. I'm not perfect and I hope you like me that way." OK... so I am listening to the song and she turns to me and says very matter of factly. "Mom, you don't like that song... do you?" I said, "I like that song Grace! I think it's a good song. Why don't you think I like it?" Again, very matter of factly she said, "Because it talks about being perfect, and you like it when I am perfect." READ: stabbing pains in heart begin right about now. READ: GASP! READ: GASP... pass out. My beautiful daughter thought I expected her to be perfect all the time. She anticipated I did not like the song because I only dug it when she was perfect. And at the tender age of four she told me about it. She was no manipulating me, she was not even condeming me. She as very matter of fact about it and just thought I was going to agree with her. Humbling people. Very humbling. But cool at the same time. It also provided me the opportunity to talk to her about how I loved her no matter what. That no one is perfect. Including me and that is why Jesus died on the cross because he knew we could not be perfect and that we needed Him in our lives.

Next story... Toby... This week. Recently I have been researching books about kids and one of the books I am ordering is called, "10 things kids need to hear." One of those things was "I Believe in you." Toby is an encourager and likes to be encouraged. On Mondays at his school they have a morning assembly. Where all the kids get together in the gym. At the gym kids are handed out awards for cool things like, responsibility, integrity, honesty, etc.etc. The teachers nominate their students and they award the kids at the assembly. Whenever Toby's friends in his class receive awards. There is what I would call a golf clap going on. The kids are clapping. Parents are gathered around the outskirts of the gym clapping and smiling and the child walks up to get their award. Well Toby thinks it's the coolest thing when one of his friends gets an award. I laughed at him the first time he did it because of his enthusiasm. His friend Chloe got her award this year. She is in the "other" Kindergarten class, but because he knew her he was so excited she got the award. He started fist pumping and hooting and hollering and yelled, "WAY TO GO CHLOE!" He really like to see his friends succeed.

Well, this past week... Toby was walking into school. He was a little needy getting ready for school. Wanting hugs, asking me if I was coming to see him at lunch. Coming back to the house on his way to walk to school and told me his legs were cold. There was one thing after another. He never does this. Normally, he goes off to school with no problems. He is excited for gym class, he can't wait for lunchtime or showing his show and tell item. They also have this system in place so kids can learn classroom behavior. If they are doing something that doesn't coincide with how the class operates... or is not ok. They have them color in a rectangle. Toby has started to associate if he colors in a rectangle it defines who he is. Everyday he tells me if he colored in a rectangle. I've been trying to focus on other things in class so he doesn't get so preoccupied with the rectangles. Anyway, I put him in my van and I drove him to school and dropped him off. I gave him a hug and prayed for him. He ran up to the school and stopped about halfway and yelled, "Hey MOM!" I said, "Yes Toby? He said, " Can you say, I BELIEVE IN YOU... because it helps me not get rectangles." This was so out of the blue. I must have told him I believed in him one morning and he remembered. And he needed to hear it so badly... he asked for it.

Both of these examples are sometimes what I need to do as an adult. How many times to I believe the lie that God wants me to be perfect in order for him to love me? How many times do I need to hear from God, I BELIEVE IN YOU. Maybe when I'm not sure I can do it all by myself. My kids really bless me in so many ways... I thought I'd share a couple of them. lv, jen

Here I am... speed blogging

Wow... It's been too long since my last post. God is stretching me to get myself in a place of being a little more organized with my time. Let's see since the last post...what's been happening.

I saw a Christian life coach (courtesy of my awesome boss) - blog content
I agonized over a playoff game (but I still love Bret Favre)
I am planning a Daddy Daughter Dance
I bought a dress for Grace for said dance
I am watching Josie get in crawling position (no forward movement yet)
My son asked me to tell him " I believe in you." (blog content for sure)
I shoveled about 16 feet of snow over a two week period
I have had one date with my husband
I'm helping my Mom rent her condo
I'm reading a new book called Redeeming Love... pretty much love it already
Looking for a women's bible study (weekly)
Still need to workout (as if shoveling were not enough)
Praying lots
Dreaming lots

Anyway, I'm not sure if there is something called speed blogging but this has been my month. I think I'll take a couple of things and expand on them. Have to go feed Josie who is yelling at me right now. :)

Back in the saddle

I am one of those people who run around doing a lot of things but sometimes lose sight of the important things. I have needed to purchase a battery charger for my digital camera for a long time. It totally is missing and I have looked high and low for it. Praying I would find it. (mainly because I did not want to pay for another one). But alas it is gone. So I sucked it up and bought a new battery charger this week. I am so thrilled. I have captured new pics of our precious baby girl. She is hilarious. She is doing new things this week. She yells at the "big kids" when they are all over playing with Play doh at the table. She plays with toys in her height chair and "talks" to them to tell them how it is. She totally cracks me up. She also play with her voice. Yelling loudly just so she can hear it. She wants to touch everyhing. She is especially enamoured with little tags on her stuffed toys. Her little fingers try to grasp it...usually with her tongue poking out while she concentrates really hard. Joy. Pure Joy.

Well, here are some recent pics of our precious "monkey". She has obtained that nick name. I think it's because she smiles when I say the word... the sound of the word makes her smile. I will also be taking video at some point. I pray I can figure out how to upload a video.

Love you all. Peace to you this new year! lv, jen

PS - The massive amounts of drool in each picture are just an indication of how much she loves the teeth hiding just below her gums... waiting to burst forth!;)

Reflecting on a New Year

PS - This song is dedicated to my friend Jill... she and her husband Mark LOVE this song.

At the encouragement of my sister in LOVE... "B" I am posting a blog today. BK and I take New Years Eve and the New Year to reflect on our family life together our blessings and starting fresh a New Year. I've been busy preparing my home for the new Year. Throwing things away, reducing clutter, organizing and folding laundry. I seriously think I have accumulated about 10 years of socks in this family. It's time to purge some of them.

My baby bro flies back to New York today. It is always bitter sweet when I say goodbye to him. I love him so much. I want him here. My kids ADORE him. But I know God has really cool life planned for him in NYC. I am excited for him to get back to it. Excited to hear how it all unfolds before him.

I am very content being home with my kiddos. Making them popcorn and hot cocoa (a treat after they cleaned their rooms) listening to them play together, laugh together and just hang out in their home. I am fussing over Josie, feeding her,changing her, playing with her. I havent really had much big kid qt with the older kids. I am praying I get to take them sledding or ice skating soon. What a blast that will be.

New Years Eve used to be "PARTY TIME" in my life prior to children. BK and I would stay out REALLY late, go to bars, and feel HORRIBLE on New Years Day. This year I am looking forward to Pizza Rolls, Buffalo wings, and BK is picking up a board game we can play with the kids tonight before bed. Then we will all go to bed around 9am.... (that's staying up late in this house!) And feel great in tomorrow morning. It may not sound exciting or thrilling or like a party to you. But the thought of spending time together as a family seems like the coolest thing I could possibly do.

I am also reflecting today on how God constantly is transforming us and making us new. I will not be the same person I was in 2009. So today I say goodbye to the Jen Kline of 2009 and look forward to the exciting adventure that awaits me in 2010. Some of it may be good.. some of it may be bad... but I am so gladI have the confidence that no matter what my faith, my hope and my joy in Jesus Christ will see me through every day. What a blessing my faith is to me. What an awesome blessing.