Lose my soul?

I think people scratch their head at my faith. I had a friend ask me the other day... have you always been this "religious?" It is hard for me because to me "religious" has this kind of negative connotation. And everything I am learning building and experiencing in my faith is about my heart and my life and my God.

It is easy to comprehend that someone wants to strengthen their physical muscles, or going to therapy to get emotionally stronger... but what about your spiritual health? All I am doing is pursuing what I believe to be the truth. I have believed in Jesus my whole life, what does that mean? What is that about? It's awesome that I believe in Jesus, but when I get to heaven at the end of this life, have I pursued my spiritual relationship with him? Will I know him before I get there? That's what I'm doing. Getting to know the one who created me before I meet him in heaven. Allowing him into my life and heart and pursuiing all he had planned for this life. Doing good things. Loving people, being imperfect and seeking God in it all.

I found this song today and I really like it. Thought I'd share it with my blog friends. Peace to all of you today.

Way too fast...

Our family took a trip to the rec Center on Saturday and we had a blast. We haven't done a fun "family" thing in a while since our trip to Telluride, but it was much needed. I find that when my kids are fighting, nagging, needy and whining constantly, I try to think back to the last time I had some real quality time with them. Fun times. Fun things we were able to do together. Time when I can look them in the eye and tell them how much they mean to me. Being busy is totally a great way the enemy just slips into my life and disturbs this family's peace. This Saturday was great. Billy and I did not "feel" like going to the Rec Center, but it was a necessity. It was totally worth it. We took Toby down the slide and took Grace on the lazy river. We taught Grace some swimming techniques as she is still learning. We hugged, laughed and played. We even had a nice ten minute break in the hot tub... which is Mommy's favorite part. :)

We also took Grace over to the climbing wall. This was a big day for her. She has checked out this wall since we moved here 3 years ago. She has always wanted to climb it and for the last three years we had to tell her she was not big enough. But today she was big enough (sigh). It was bitter sweet. My baby girl is growing up and by UP I mean tall. She's becoming one of the coolest chicks I know. Her heart is soft and loving, she loves to learn and read, she understands God's love at a very young age, loves to sing worship songs and is good to her brother (most of the time). Grace's birth was when I first began to understand the love of God. It was the first time I felt God telling me in the quiet of my heart that he loved me so much he gave me this terrific gift of a baby. The day she was born I felt two things... unbelievable love and at the same time I wondered... was I worthy of such an amazing cool thing. God spoke to my heart telling me I was worthy of it and he trusted me with this awesome little girl. I know he has big plans for my little girl and I can't wait for her to walk in them. My prayer is that she be excited and look forward to what God has for her every day. As I watched her climb this Saturday, grabbing for each new gripping point, I was proud. I was proud she was brave to take each step, I was proud that she kept going and I was proud that she stopped when it felt "too scary." Know your limits my sweet beautiful girl, but keep climbing. Keep climbing.

Grandma Pinky and Morgan came to visit

Billy's Mom came to visit us last weekend. They call her Pinky. She was a twin who was ALWAYS dressed in pink... so the name just stuck. She is awesome. Pinky came to visit us with Billy's niece Morgan who took 3 days off of school (which means a ton of homework in 5th grade) to come and see us. We were so blessed. Pinky is a woman with a plan. I know when she comes to visit that she already has an idea of what she wants to do and we get it done. I love it because there is not a lot of hemming and hawing about what needs to happen... she lays it all out. So, when they came to DRO we spent Saturday shopping in Farmington where she loved buying the kids their winter coats and pajamas. Then we went to the pumpkin patch afterward... which was totally fun. Thursday she hit the Rec Center... Friday night she made an awesome pot roast and squash and super yummy food... it was SOOO good. Sunday she took all three kids on the train and met us in Silverton in the afternoon. Monday her and Morgan hit Trimble Hot Springs and then flew home. She told me next time we'll all drive to Ouray and stay at a hotel there and hit the hotsprings. We had a great time. I love it when people come all the way to DRO to visit us. It is so nice to invite people into our life here. It's nothing like the big city... but it's our home and we dig it lots.

My playdate with Kale and Kate

I heard a nasty rumor that my good friend Jill was sick on Sunday. So I called her to see how she was doing. She called me back and left me a message. She sounded so bad. I had never ever heard her voice so low and scratchy. She said it hurt so bad she could not eat for 3 or 4 days! Ugh. I just kept thinking... oh Lord please heal her. I had Tuesday off and asked my husband to check the weather. It was supposed to be 70 degrees. I pictured Jill in her house with her two preschool aged children and her new baby... I pictured her trying to feel better during a busy day with three kids. It was not going to happen for her. So I asked her if I could take Kale and Kate on a playdate with Toby on Tuesday. We would go to my house for lunch, play with Toby's toys and Toby then to the park, then back to my house for rest time and more playtime.

I have to say that her children were perfectly behaved for me. They were great. I loved hanging out with them. I loved how much my son loves them and I am so blessed by the entire family. Here is a picture from our day (I am having problems loading multiple pics). We seriously had a blast.

That Man of mine.. and our communication nightmares

Ha! I think this post is great. My friend Jill shared a great post about how sometimes the communication in marriage is so important and sometimes so hard. Bill and I have been married 8 years and we still sometimes do not have a clue what we are saying to each other. It is like we are speaking two different languages. It just impresses on me more how badly we need in God in all of it. To remind us about mercy, grace and love and that even if I have no idea what Bill is talking about... we both have God gently nudging us to be more like him. Forgiving.

One example I have of these communication things is when Bill and I were going over finances. We were talking about how to work our budget or look at numbers. Bill is VERY detailed. He is more concerned about our accounts being reconciled to the penny and I am overall concerned about the big picture. Money in... money out... how it looks at a macro level. We were seriously trying to talk about how to plan for our budget and how to develop it and we both were explaining our perspectives and I am not lying to you. He was speaking English and I had NO IDEA what he was saying!!!! We both just kept repeating ourselves and neither one of us knew what we were talking about. After about 3 times of repeating ourselves to one another... we both just started laughing... and I said, are you speaking english because what you are saying is not making sense to me. It was hilarious. We ended up just dropping the subject and moving on to another topic. It was so funny. We are wired completely different.

Bill was given some marital advice that I don't think has served us well in our marriage. Someone told him when we were married the best phrase he needed to know was "yes honey or yes dear". Well, now he has the "yes dear syndrome" and it has brought us to many a fork in the road where we had to grin and bear it as well. I will say, Billy... can you please stop at the bank and deposit this money... or can you please make an appt for such and such or Bill can you please pick up some stuff at City Market. And thankfully, my wonderful husband with all the good intentions in the world tells me, "Yes Dear" full well knowing there is no way he has time to stop at the grocery store, call to make appts or deposit money into the bank account. So when I ask him if he completed said task.. he has to confess he did not. I have impressed upon him that honesty is the best policy and if he cannot complete said task to PLEASE let me know and I will do it. I love my husband and understand he is busy, but my pleading for him to help me he feels like he will let me down if he says, "NO." He wants to be my hero so he agrees to everything I need.

Men are awesome. My husband is awesome. He loves me no matter what and we are learning to navigate this life together. We will never be perfect, have all the answers or be able to appease each other 100% but we can look to God in all of it and say... "DEAR LORD HELP ME" and full well know that he has our backs totally and completely. God definatley has sense of humor in the differences between boys and girls. We just need to keep on laughing. :-)

Another facebook post... I'm fired up

Titled: What is happening to this country?


I know this is an emotionally heated election and the politics of it all is killing me... but I just talked to a friend who informed me that the new "one dollar coins" are edited and they have taken "In God we Trust" off of the dollar. Regardless of your political opinion... regardless of your faith preference...what the heck? When my daughter was born... it was the moment in my life that I realized that I was given the most precious unebelievable gift. The gift of a new life. It was not MY efforts or MY mojo, MY good looks, or My good behavior that created that life. It was something so much bigger than anything I could ever wrap my brain around. I could go on and on about the human body and how intricate it is and amazing and special that there is no way a "BIG BANG" cosmic explosion or biological meltdown created the wonderful miracle of life. Who designed our feelings of love, intimacy, friendship, sensuality? Was that all just a fluke too? When I look into my daughter's eyes or listen to my son breathe and grow... I am trusting God 100%. I trust that God gave me these lives. I trust he loves me so specifically I cannot even begin to undestand what that means. He gave me desire an passion, he gave me hobbies and friends, he gives me the air I breathe and every beat of my heart. I trust that he put me in my parent's life for a specific reason I trust that he provides all my needs.... so why then is it such a big deal for us to talk about God? Don't mention "God" in school. Don't mention "God" at work because you could offend someone. If you talk to your friends about God your considered a bible "thumper" or religious... whatever. This country is so flipping egocentric I cannot even stand it. We live in a world of trusting yourself. We can't even turst others let alone trust God. The media and society communicates messages of how COOL WE are... how much better WE can be.... how much more money WE can get, more sex we can have, drugs WE can do.... Being dysfunctional and rehab'ed is cool. Having issues with porn and addictions is sexy. Exploit those who struggle with it, cling to the stories of those in pain. Get angry because WE aren't getting our way. It's all a load of crap. You were designed and created and built by a God who every day decides to let you live another day because you have stuff to do on this earth. Good stuff, good plans, plans to help others be good to others and make a difference for others. All the while TRUSTING GOD!Our sin and our focus on ourselves is what we don't like to look at as a society. We are wrong, we aren't perfect, we do make mistakes, we're not beautiful all the time, and that is why we NEED God and we need to begin to undesrtand what it means to TRUST God.I have watched teens and youth battle their own hearts and minds because they know the truth. They feel in thier spirit that God created them all in a special and unique way. Deep down they know they are loved. But our media and society confirms and communicates to them that what they believe is wrong. There is a conflict in their hearts because they don't know what to believe. The media communicates to everyone to be the masters of their own universe by having money, power, sex and greed. Special and precious is not sexy enough for this nation of ours. I have seen the pain in a young person's eyes when they think they are not good enough because they don't encompass all of that, they are humble, quiet, loving, sensitive, broke... and they feel worthless they don't see what God sees...it's so sad.This nation needs to take the blinders off and notice that it is a bunch of crap we don't trust God. It's really not about the coin. It's so many little ways we discredit the one who created us. We really should be ashamed of ourselves... but oh wait.... I forgot... we ARE perfect there's no shame in that... right?(sigh)

Miracles happen and happened to us - Our Cardboard Testimony

I posted this note on my facebook account. Many of my friends do not understand our faith or why I have become so "religious." My prayer is that they read this and have a better understanding. Read on...


My husband Bill was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes about a month ago. Right now he is treating it with medication and a major change in diet. This diagnosis has been difficult for him. We were happy to find out at a routine doctor appointment rather than him having some kind of horrible diabetic medical problem. The good news is we know about it and can change our lives to make sure he's maintains good health. This diagnosis presented a lot of things for my husband. He loves sugar. He was a Mountain Dew boy all the way. So when you have to quit cold turkey on those sugary treats that bring you joy... it can be frustrating. One other side effect of the diabetes was his vision. When he dropped his sugar levels from the 500 range where they had been to a normal range... the capillaries in your eyes get messed up. So he could not even read the Nutrition labels or small print like that. Mind you, he's had 20/20 vision his whole life, so again major adjustments were to be made. We bought some contacts and that helped him during the day. Bill and I have been attending a church in Colorado here for about 3 years. I had never been a "church" person ever in my life. Church bored the crap out of me and it just seemed to ritualistic. I understood there was a God and I understood that Jesus died on the cross for me, but both Bill and I wanted to know that on a deeper level. We wanted to know what that meant for us in our day to day lives. As we pursued a closer relationship with the God who made us... we found our church and an amazing family of people who are also pursuing their own spiritual journey with God. The church we go to believes that the Bible is truth. Regardless of what media and society says... I believe it too. However, it does not say in the Bible to use what you know and what you believe to judge, manipulate or undermine others. My favorite commandment in the Bible is when Jesus told people this: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[b] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22: 36That is what my church and my church family has taught me. That loving others is the best and truest form of understanding a personal relationship with God. It is not about "church" or "religion" it is about the basics of life and that is to love others and love God. It's a very personal journey. When you pursue it... supernaturally God changes your heart and fills you with sustainable joy. Not fleeting, but something that sticks with you. It is an amazing thing and something worth pondering. I am digressing... back to our miracle. Billy has been very frustrated about not being able to see... he has been back tot he eye doctor 2 times to change his prescription to so he can read small print. He works with computers at work and he looks up parts and inventory thing so not being able to see has been debilitating for him. It is hard to see my husband so frustrated. Last Sunday, we had a special dinner at our church our Pastor prayed over my husband and annointed him with oil. We had tons of people standing around him praying. I have witnessed prayers for others and healing for others... so I was really hoping our prayers would be answered in some way. I did know God could cure Billy with one mighty touch. I was excited to see what he might do when we prayed on Bill's behalf. The very next day, when we were getting ready for bed and watching Sports Center... Bill had his contacts off and told me... I can read the TV. Now mind you.. he always reads the small print at the bottom looking at EVERY game that is going on and memorizes all scores and such... so this small print is important to him too. So being able to read these scores was the reassurance he needed to know God was working in his life. I believe that God knew my husband's greatest frustration and healed his sight instantly. It was the confirmation I needed that when we seek God he will meet us right where we are. He cares specifically for us. And knows our greatest need. So with that testimony, I would like to encourage all my friends to remember. Whether or consider yourself "religious" or not. Say a prayer today to the God who created you and has an awesome plan for your life... and specifically ask him to meet you where you are. He loves you and so do I!